I had the delight of a lovely lunch with friends in which our focus was really just on us. We each received and shared information about the things we were each doing and the journey’s we were each taking in our lives right now. Those things that were inspiring us, challenging us and those that were keeping us sane.
In the past I have been amongst friends where it seems we talked about everyone else but ourselves. Or if not that, the sharing was guarded and kept at a surface level. During those types of gatherings I don’t recall coming away feeling as connected to my friends as I did in this recent lunch.
Afterwards I thought I wanted to really know what it was about that lunch which was different to others I may experience. So while the memory of it is still warm, I feel the keys to our lovely get together were:
A genuine interest to see each other and hear about each other
A willingness to share openly our experiences and perceptions – those we label good, bad and the grey in between.
A resolve to openly hear what others want to say without casting judgment, silently or aloud, about their ideas or viewpoints
A willingness to openly express how I felt about seeing these people.
What are the meetings with your friends like? Do you share information about yourself? If you feel a sense of reservation about your get togethers, does a lack of one of the above points tie into that feeling? By observing yourself in the context of a bigger picture, you can begin to see in what ways your heart may not be fully open to those who you want to spend time with. It may also bring to your awareness your feelings about those that you connect with, the role you play with them and whether that role enlivens and empowers you and others.